Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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