You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
