I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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