Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
