Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
