Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
