smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
