and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
