Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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