Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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