yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
