Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
