she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im holly from the hills drunk
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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