Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
