I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
