too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
