it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
