Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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