butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
