When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Couch. On fire.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
