vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
