1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize