i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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