wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
