It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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