Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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