Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
