Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I touched a dick in church today
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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