Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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