god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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