You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
