Already got asked if we're dating
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
