No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
