is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
