ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
