Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
