i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
