he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
