So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just pee around me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
