id be glad to
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Too much gin, very little bucket
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
