whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
