I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize