We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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