I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
