hotel room ftw
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
