wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You ruined the universe
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
