I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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