Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
