new low.... made out with someone while peeing
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Houston, we have a blender
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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