Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
