Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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