Me too!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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